Smat's new bedroom

Well, it's almost ready - most of the walls have had their second coat of paint (don't have woodchip wallpaper ever - it's a b*gger to deal with); some patches of floorboards still need varnishing; I haven't had time to track down any curtain fabiric which looks like an old T-shirt belonging to DD1 which is my inspiration for the entire redecoration project; but the bed now has a new mattress) necessary because the old one was 1. very old; 2. contoured like a ploughed field due to my inability to remember to flip it each time I change the sheets; and 3. now un-sprung because we didn't buy the Baby Smats a trampoline until this spring and they were forced to improvise.
Things To Remember For Future Decorating:
1. Dulux One Coat paint doesn't necessarily* do what it says on the tin.
2. Don't try to balance a paint pot on the loo cistern, it ruins the bathroom floor.
3. Don't try to paint in clothes you like (see No. 2)
4. Don't start painting bathroom walls when the Baby Smats are in the bath (see No. 2).
5. After having carefully ensured you don't paint yourself into the corner furthest away from the door, don't leave the paint pot lid on the windowsill.
6. Even if it says it washes off in soapy water on the tin, the manufacturers are lying (see Smat's left hand first fingernail for proof).
But aside from the unbelievable amount of reorganising of Stuff needed to return the House of Smat to something resembling normality, we would seem to be back in business.
That is, until Thursday, when Mr and Mrs Smat Senior arrive for their regular Inspection of the Grandchildren, which neccesitates a Thorough Cleaning of the House, a quick revision of any TV watching plans, and a bulk order from Virgin Wines.

* edited in case Mr Dulux and his very expensive lawyers come past