Being a Responsible Citizen

As I am apparently a Responsible Citizen, I've been called for jury service, starting on Monday, for two weeks. I'm looking forward to it actually and have been doing my research (several episodes of Judge John Deed, some John Grisham, that kind of thing) so I'm all prepared. I need to be on the lookout for being bribed, seduced, and having my background checked out in minute detail. There will be lots of dramatic revelations, loud gasps, weeping and wailing from victims elderly mothers*, and sexy policemen in the witness box. And if I still have Horrendous PMS they'll have to bring back hanging, just for the occasion.

(in reality, as it's in Croydon, there'll be brainless meatheads beating each other up after the pub shuts, drugs, and probably some immigration which is not nearly so exciting).

* couldn't work out where the apostrophe went, so left it out.